Emily Litella Reporting In From Australia,right after her story on endangered feces!

If you follow the news around the web, you will see a story on a poor fellow in Australia who died while planking. Of course our roving reporter Emily Litella has missed a very important part of the story.

Texx's Rivera on the day he bought it. Texx has said, " I would never have bought this boat if i had known planking could be so dangerous."

For us living the Woody Boater lifestyle we all assumed they meant the un thinkable.But no.. Apparently on Facebook, planking has a different meaning. Now.. To each his own I suppose. Now. to be fair.. I have killed a bank account or two planking.. Or Re-planking.. So.. Please be careful!

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20 Responses to “Man Dies Planking! Please Be Careful….”
  1. Dave Pickard

    I thought I was in touch with much of the dumb s*** people are doing, saw the “planking” story on the Philadelphia news last night. Never heard of it before then, guess my FB friends are still just Flash mobbing, I’m officially old. Had a guy working for me this week who was born in 1992, the year I graduated from high school he didn’t know that boats were made from or that people still used them…..he did like it though, guess there is some hope for him

    Reply
    • Rick

      Dave you graduated in HS in 1992? Now I’m feeling old! When I graduated in 1975 streaking was the stupidest thing being done. Guess I’m going to have to find where they sell Geritol now and Google funeral arrangements. Damn and I was just getting the hang of varnishing (not).

      Reply
      • Al Benton

        Geez, my generation must have been boring, I can’t think of any dumb stunts that were popular at the time. Mini-skirts weren’t even thought of until 4 years later. Figure out when that wonderful craze started and you’ll know when I finished HS.

        Reply
        • Ken Miller

          Al, a funny story from my parents who were also from your generation:

          The high school from which we all graduated had a red brick auditorium at the front of the school campus. On the front of the auditorium, at the top corner under the name of the school, was a yellow brick relief of a man and woman–the bricks from which they were made were not only a different color but they were slightly forward of the flat wall surface. Even the girl had breasts made from two brick ends sticking out from the rest of her torso…..quite controversial in a small town back then.

          The class clown (who later went on to write his own column in the local newspaper (remember those???) and would also call the local radio station every morning and incite a riot of laughter) actually hung a bra and panties on the girl and placed a jock strap on the guy. Of course this is the same fellow who was given money by the teacher to go to the store during class and was told not to stop anywhere on the way back, so he rode his motorcycle back into the teacher’s classroom. During the actual graduation ceremony in the auditorium he arranged to have a cow led up the two flights of steps to await the crowd as they left (cows can be led up steps easily but not back down). He also took apart a car and reconstructed it on the cafeteria roof. So, no, I would not say your generation was boring or lacking in pranks.

          Reply
      • Dave PIckard

        Streaking, yes I’ve seen some old B&W footage of that, most drunk guys at sporting events, not pretty! I knew that 1992 reference would make feel old too….

        Reply
  2. Al Benton

    Ken, those were great stories. We did have a guy who climbed the local TV tower to hang a proposal sign from mid way up, his girlfriend was surprised but didn’t offer an immediate answer. That night, she climed the same tower and hung a bigger “YES” sign at the very top. They were at our 50 year class reunion last summer, still happily merried.

    Alright, Matt & Mark, it’s not funny…. (Ya, it is) I graduated from East St. Louis Senior High School in 1960 (good ole’ East Side High). My little cruiser was built the year that I graduated and poodle skirts were still popular. I’ll never forget my first miniskirt sighting the summer of ’64. I was so distracted that I didn’t see who it was until she said “hi” as she passed by. She was my brother’s girlfriend at the time. Wow, did I hear about that later.

    Reply
  3. Philip Andrew

    Dumb is the word Dave. I run an advertising Agency and I have a whole creative department of these kids. I need them to make ads for other dumb a**s’s like themselves.
    I came back from a meeting to find the lot of them ‘planking’ all over the furniture. They thought it was the funniest thing.
    You know Im sure there are some upsides for the future of mankind with this facebook youtube generation but its hard to spot sometimes.
    After 20 years in the creative industry I would observe that this generation of kids have very limited knowledge of history and they have zero practical skills. Both of these shortcomings are threatening to our species.
    They live a life 2 centimeters from the end of their finger.
    The problem for me and my industry is that these kids dont have real life experience to draw on for ideas and we are in the ideas business. Every brief they get they scour the net for ideas. The problem is these ideas have therefore been done before and my clients pay for original ideas. I threatened to give them all a blank piece of paper and a pencil and turn off their screens the other day and they looked totally terrified. I think I might do it.
    Frankly the planker off the highrise in Australia is one up for common sense but I doubt the target audience will see it that way.
    Phil.

    Reply
    • Ken Miller

      Phil said:

      ” I threatened to give them all a blank piece of paper and a pencil and turn off their screens the other day and they looked totally terrified. I think I might do it.”

      Film THAT and put it on Youtube.

      Reply
    • Dave PIckard

      I don’t like to rag on the latest generation of “kids” apparently 18 is the new 12, but the kid I have working for me is intelligent, nice, reasonably well spoken and lazy as crap. High school educated with no greater ambition other then to txt his girlfriend and watch “House” on television. I ran out of my parents house when I was 19 like my head was on fire, got a job (2), got student loans and went to college, finished school got another job and then started a business in 1997. Now I had some help here and there, but you have want to do something to actually do something

      Reply
  4. matt

    OH GOD! Phil is so dead on..No pun intended. I have the same situation, only here they have yet to find out about planking in my office. And if they found out through me I would ruin it for them.. Wait.. Hold on.. I need to have a staff meeting…

    Reply
  5. Rick

    Well I’m glad there are a bunch of lazy oafs out there. Less competition for my son who graduates with a BioMed Engineering degree from RPI in 2 weeks and is going nuts looking for a job.

    Reply
  6. Tom H

    A quote that has stuck with me through the years;
    You know your getting old when you start talking about the moral decline of the young.
    I find myself getting older by the minute. where is that park bench and my bird seed.

    Reply
    • pick373

      That was from a movie Frank, about some psuedo college football players about 1994. Crappy movie and that was its legacy.

      Reply

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