My dear wife and I just got back from the lawyers office regarding updating our wills. Now.. why am I telling the world this? Well… near the end of the routine visit talking about who and where the Woody Boater empire goes, I added a small alteration to my wishes. The room fell silent. My darling supportive wife looked at me like I was from Mars, saying I had lost my mind…Of course I would be dead, so my mind would of course be lost. The lawyer looked at me with a strange twinkle in his eye that I will later explain and his associate lawyer just looked at me like I was an idiot… So… I am putting it out there, so in the sad event that I croak..that the Woody Boater community will rise up and make sure that my plans are fulfilled. My request is simple. I want to go boating for eternity. Not be planted in a field with a bunch of strange people, or even buried for that fact.. Being under ground is not my cup of tea. I don’t want to be sprinkled into the ocean.. or in a field.. I want to go boating… Woody Boating….So here are my plans for you if need be to make sure they get done!
My instructions are for the family to find a 1958 Classic boat… It has to be a 1958.. like me.. Something outrageous.. Something fun.. Then, this is where it gets a tad wacky.. I am to be cremated… big time.. After the results are boxed.. I am to be put into a smasher of some kind and made into a fine dust. A very fine dust. At which point the boat is to be restored to a 100 pt boat. ( If I am lucky I will have a slow death and can pick out the boat and start the restoration… Not a debilitating slow death or Alzheimer’s. I want to remember what I am doing…Something painless, that allows me to work up until the end.) Now, my dust.. I am to be mixed into epoxy and into each and every part of the boat. Yes including the varnish.. Yes it will look rough, all my varnish jobs look that way anyway. The varnish part I realize I will sluff off over the years. But in the epoxy and bottom, bilge paint, interior.. I will be there for a while. I will in fact be a boat. My sons and wife can take me out to go boating anytime they want to be with me. I can still go to shows, and still feel the cool fresh air mixed with exhaust and feel the water splashing on me. I can still bring people joy with the roar of the engine.. So.. that’s the plan. Here it is. It all sounded silly when you started reading it, and now. It kinda makes sense.. Live with it for a while… Mr I want to be put in a jar and put on the mantle… Think for a minute.. Would you rather go boating with your kids, grand kids and great grand kids… or sit next to a candle stick, and some stupid figurine….
At the end of this conversation with the lawyer. My wife just looked at me… You know the look.. its the same look you get from your spouse when you pull into the driveway with a new something hitched to the back of the car… but the lawyer.. he excused him self and returned with a framed photograph… It was his Glen L runabout that he had spent the past couple of years building in his garage… HA! He is my lawyer for life, and death now!