The official Woody Boater Dictionary

With all the new readers from New Zealand this week, we here at Woody Boater felt it necessary to publish a new dictionary of Woody Boaterese. The official language of WoodyBoaterville. A small community located on a bluff over looking Lake Cyberspace. With now over 1,500 readers  and over 7,000 pageveiws a day, some might be getting lost in the official language… You thought it was all typos didn’t you.. OH no.. We are proud of our heritage and 6th grade c average in English. So here is a short run down of the top 20 terms you will see on Woody Boater on a regular basis.

1. There, and thier mean the same thing. also their..

2. i before e is for 7th graders. they get mixed up all the time here. Dont take it personaly.

3. Ok means OK. To and Too.. and of and off all mean the same thing. Ok!

4. the generous use of …… is because I am thinking….. see…. adds  to it..

5. Big words get googled, so it’s what ever google says the word is.

6. off, of also are the same word and mean the same thing

7. The Woody Boatress is the queen of the realm.

8. The Woody Boater Boulder Bureau is our Boulder CO. location where..were.. the heir to the throne lives and drains the coffers on Women and beer.

9. Where, wear, were, all mean the same thing . You have to put it in context.

10. Varnish is better than crack or meth in Woodyboaterville.

11. Crocs are better than deck shoes and are very sexy on old babes. But you will die wearing, whereing them.

12. Ink-clot babes are a term referencing old BW shots of 90 year old babes from catalogs.

13. Lickable babes refers to decals of babes from the 50’s

14. Your , youre and you’re all mean the same thing

15. Woohoo, is a term i have used for years. Made more popular by Homer Simpson. But not just his.. It can be read as excitement or sarcastically.

16. Proof reading is for english teachers. If I wrote it, thats good enough for me. that’s?

17 the use of punctuation is purely arbitrary.. and I had to look up arbitrary..

18. When I say I want to go out in the barn and make sweet love to my boat.. I actually mean it.. You would.. wood… be amazed what you can do with that grease that you are supposed to put on your water pump.

19. Middle aged women are smok’n hot in Woody Boaterville. Middle aged men are still 20 and have 30 inch waist lines, and our farts don’t smell

20. Every boat I see, I want. It’s that simple. If I could have a barn full of boats i would… Wait, I do.. Like that show, Boat Horders.. No I need that old pile of worm infested hull boards.. Someday they might be usefull.. …

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16 Responses to “The Official Woody Boaterese Dictionary Is Now Out. The Top 20 Woody Boaterisms.”
  1. Chris

    Where was this dictionary when I was in 7th grade??? I dreamed of getting a C I need a Spell Check download for my brain….

  2. Mike M

    If it weren’t for #18 I bet you’d be overwhelmed with support! TMI….OMG….LOL…..WoooHoooo!

    • chad

      I’m gonna need some counseling to get the image of Matt “priming his pump” out in the barn out of my head.

      • Rick

        Our wives and girlfriends may be safe but maybe we don’t leave him alone with our boats. Has anyone seen him strolling the docks alone before or after a show? LOL

  3. Texx

    Group Counseling, I’ll phone the Henry Ford Clinic to inquire…

  4. anonymus

    Does that mean that weiner, wiener and winner all mean the same thing as frozen wiener? Or are they all different?

  5. matt

    Ok… i had to read this while in a fancy meeting. no one could understand why I was laughing durring a serious meeting about very serious stuff. Cant I just go hump on my boat in peace. Its a special bond between a man and his 3 inch copper exhaust pipe. And yes, clearly I never plan on running for a political office. I can see this on the CBS News..

  6. matt

    Weiner, Winner, Wiener are all the same. That is just common cents

  7. matt

    I would like to point out, that no matter how deviant this all is. We have maintained our PG rating. Its just your sick minds that have filled in the rest! And yes, I had to google Deviant

  8. randy

    yup, there’s definitely some sick tickets up hear today…that’s for the laughs!

  9. Mark

    hahhahaha, I’ve noticed ALL of these when reading, but I appreciate the free service and entertaining updates so I keep my mouth shut. 🙂

  10. Texx

    OK – Frankly speaking, I think the first thing we have to do in order to get our “PG” rating back is to get rid of the Wiener reference… and go with hot dog, red hot, frank or frankfarter, brat… or even Kielbasa (as in Kielbasa & Sauerkraut) for the folks in the northern part of the country… Frankly.

    I hope this isn’t going to chase away our new viewers from New Zealand…