Mariah right before going into the shop

The sad truth is that when Mariah, the US Mail boat from On Golden Pond, was looked over properly, only one conclusion was reached.. She was a mess.. a crack addict…Her bottom was not what it used to me.. And .. neither was her top side.. We have come across some sad images of 100 dollar bills being thrust into her cleavage..

This grainy photo was taken showing how 100 dollar bills wont satisfy her crack issues

A clearer picture unfolds in the day light.. Every seam on her was open for anyone to see her soft wood..

There is not much that can be saved. Her story and history is her greatest asset. She is going to need to soak in 100 bills to be saved

Her crack issues all playing out now for the public to see. But she is fighting back.. Trying to avoid the temptations of making money in sleazy ways.. We hear there was an offer to star in a film.. On Golden Porn..But thanks to Katz’s Marina’s Rehab Center for Boat Restoration, Mariah is starting her journey back..

Her seats, left with no varnish.. Just naked.. Al Fresco.. Nude.. Bare.. Comando!

The work starts.. Rehab aint pretty.. Lindsay Lohan is in the next room getting sanded..

Soon she will be back in full swing.. With a new firm tight gold bottom… And perky flag poles aiming hi and glistening in the sun.. All waiting for her debut in Tavares in the spring.. We will be up dating her progress over time. Her film co star  Thayer IV is also under going some cosmetic surgery for her big come back.. More on that later..

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13 Responses to “Mariah Strips For A Living! Exclusive Sad Images Of An Aging “On Golden Pond” Star At Her Low Point…”
  1. John Robertson

    Thanks for the update.

    I got to see their other co-star (THAYER IV – 1802) in Pewaukee over the weekend. If I’m not mistaken it won best utility of its size. It is so great that these movie boats are now getting the care they deserve.

    JR

  2. m-fine

    After reading this story, I think it is safe to say Mariah isn’t the only one with issues. 🙂

  3. Randy Rush Captain Grumpy

    Funny! I almost bought one of these last week for 1k. Thats after the guy spent 17k on it and gave up.

  4. BigRed

    Hilarious!

    It would also be nice to see how the rehab is being done, compared to a how it is going… I know this isn’t a DIY blog, but a trick or two from these pros would be great!

  5. matt

    Hi Big Red, that is the plan, Seth is doing some of the work for the record.. his passion for these two boats is what its going to take to make this happen.. We will be regularly showing progress.. All part of the fun

  6. CHUCK

    like to see how yours goes I’ve started to work on mine in between a couple other jobs needs a face lift hope to have done for this summer also.

    Chuck