Beware! Your Inflatables Are At Risk!

Woody Boater Disaster week, just keeps getting better and better….Just when you thought your inflatable raft would be there for you in time of need.. This horrible story came out last night.. .. Man Has Sex With Pink Inflatable Raft. That’s right.. Your sweet innocent inflatable raft, that your kids use.. was used as a .. well, a love interest, in a moment of passion.. I CAN”T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!  God, I wish I could.. Turns out Edwin Tobergta, 32, was arrested at his Hamilton Ohio home early Sunday morning. Tobergta allegedly was seen engaging in sexual conduct with the raft in an alley behind his home. He was reported to police by the owner of the raft. We here at Woody Boater do have an open mind though…  I say what ever floats your boat! But really…There is more… Now according to another report, Tobertgta had also had an affair with an inflatable Pumpkin, so all you fellow Woody Boaters may also look out for your Bumpers and any inflatable Life Jackets.. You may want to get those cleaned just in case.. Especially if you live in Ohio… Let the comments proceed..

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33 Responses to “WARNING! Your Inflatable Rafts May Be At Risk! Please Read!”
  1. Pat & Lea

    Cars have bumpers, boats have fenders. None the less we will keep ours locked up. Thanks for the heads up!

  2. Ben

    Sounds mentally ill. If so, not very funny.

    Let’s hear ’bout boats, please!

  3. Tom

    The police have it all wrong he was just trying to PUMP more air into the raft!!
    On another note re disaster week I have heard that there were 2 disasters at the Lake George show. One was a Garwood that was running down the lake a punched a hole in the bottom and was able to make it to the launch ramp and removed before completely sinking. The other story was a little sketchy. Anyone know of anymore details?

  4. WoodyGal

    He had an affair with Pumpkin? I know that Pumpkin has had his own pleasurable encounters with inflatables, but not a pink one!

  5. SS Dave Pickard

    Any word on if the pink raft was salvageable? Or was she gonna need some toilet bowl wax….

  6. Alex

    Hey people. C’mon now. Cut the poor guy some slack. Since we’re talking about an inanimate object, it was, after all, consensual (con-sensuous).

    And, he did use (a) rubber. Ha.

    • SS Dave

      The point seems to be that he didn’t ask permission to seam seal another mans inflatable and it sounds like that is a no no in Ohio!

  7. Alex

    …which means, unless there was a, er, “wardrobe malfunction,” there was no risk of little dinghies after, er, inflation.

    Thanks, Matt, for introducing such a twisted, yet twisted (sic), subject. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go wash by brain out with soap.

    • Jeff

      Michigan – the place where people can’t do math (Ohio est. 1803, Michigan 1837).

  8. Jack Schneiberg

    I get it now; the guy standing on the deck of his Riva in the masthead photo is looking for his pink inflatible life raft and woody boater has thusly today; (during disaster week) provided and full and cognizant explanation about “where dat baby went to”.

    Public service trumps all – after all.

    P.S. I’ll bet the neighbors were alerted as the damn thing made loud noises deflating after being punctured!!!!!

  9. Bartlomiej

    Oh Jeez… Guy was probably doing some serious drugs to get to that point! my word…

  10. matt

    Plastic baggy’s are the gateway drug here, then to trash bags, Whoopy cushions.. Then it gets sick.. That pumpkin deal is over the top.. The poor raft never had a chance.

  11. Tom F

    Matt,

    I think the police are barking up the wrong tree. This guys in the ACBS directory and he has the raft listed as “Classic Rubber”. The name….”The Other Woman”. Power is a 32 hp “Johnson” outboard, long shaft.

  12. John Rothert

    I am leaving this one entirely alone.

    Moving on: who is taking boat to Reedville show?

    two weeks away!

    John in Va.

  13. DonD

    Yeah, but Matt knows “controversy sells” (thats why he rode Joe Martell for so long…, and so hard).

    See, nearly 30-responses, he gets paid for that.

    A pink dingy…, and he got you guys and gals to come up with adjectives…, sheesh!

  14. matt

    HAAAAAA, you have all fallen into my secret trap! Tabloid day at Woody Boater.. makes me squirm.. For the record, I don’t get paid for more comments.. They do add up to clicks though.. And traffic is way up, on stories like this.. like slowing down for a car wreck, ya want to look, but dont want to see what the wreck is about.. I was just ready for a good belly whacker, and this dropped in my lap.. Wait, the story dropped in my lap.. After two weeks of natural disasters, a guy boinking inflatable stuff made my day.. I have been laughing all day at your great comments.. Also as a side note. I forgot about Pumpkin.. If I had put those two tether, I would of had a field day! Tomorrow marks the end od Disaster week, with Riva’s!!

  15. Mike M

    If you were a spelling teacher every week in Woodyboaterville would be disaster week!!