We announced roughly a month ago that the Antique Boat Museum Director had resigned, so guess what? There is a job opening at the museum and the job description was just released. Do you have what it takes send that varnish stained resume to them. Here it is all printed out. Lets see if I could do it?
The Antique Boat Museum (ABM), the largest freshwater nautical Museum in the world, requires a full time Executive Director effective June 1, 2016. Situated on the St. Lawrence River in the beautiful 1000 Islands in upstate New York, ABM has grown exponentially in the last fifteen years, and the Board of Trustees is conducting a national search to identify outstanding leaders who have demonstrated executive experience, ( I HAVE BREN A PRESIDENT AND NOW A CEO) imagination, ( I WAS A CREATIVE DIRECTOR AND AWARD WINNING ART DIRECTOR ) and vision to lead the Museum through the next decade of growth as it becomes an international museum. ( I CAN LEAD AND WE HAVE A READER IN NEW ZEALAND, DOES CANADA COUNT? )
The Executive Director oversees a dynamic institution ( MY WIFE SAYS I BELONG IN AN INSTITUTION ) with a talented and committed staff of 40 full-time and part-time employees, an operating budget of approximately $1.6 million $200 thousand in annual capital projects, $23 million of assets, a 4.5 acre river campus with five recently constructed exhibit buildings and an extraordinary collection of over 320 antique boats.( I CAN DO ALL THAT AND OWN SOME BOATS.)
The successful candidate should have exceptional interpersonal and communication skills, ( OK, IS SPELLING AN ISSUE? ) demonstrated success in fund raising and building strategic partnerships, and financial management experience. ( WE TAKE PAYPAL? AND SOMETIMES GET A NEW SPONSOR ) She or he should have not-for-profit experience ( WOODY BOATER HASN’T MADE A PROFIT EVER ) either with an educational or cultural institution, and have an affinity for the mission of the Museum and its unique setting in the 1000 Islands of the St. Lawrence River. I LOVE THE THOUSAND ISLANDS AND THE DRESSING. REALLY, I HAVE ALSO DONE THE MARKETING FOR THE NATIONAL TRUST FOR HISTORIC PRESERVATION, THE NATIONAL ARCHIVES AND NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC MUSEUM, THE VIRGINIA MUSEUM OF FINE ARTS. HECK THE ENTIRE CULTURE OF CLASSIC BOATING )
Interviews will take place in January 2016, (WHAT? IN CLAYTON IN JANUARY? DOES IT GET BELOW 40 THERE?) the appointment will be made by March 15, and the appointment will commence no later than June, 2016. More information about the Museum is available at www.abm.org. Starting salary is competitive and dependent on qualifications and career accomplishments.
Interested candidates should submit cover letter, resume, and three letters of recommendations ( DO COMMENTS IN THE COMMENT SECTION COUNT?) to Executive Director Search, Antique Boat Museum, 750 Mary Street, Clayton, NY 13624, or emailed to EDSearch@abm.org. Applications will be accepted until the position is filled. Confidential inquiries may be addressed to John MacLean at email@example.com.
All kidding aside, this looks like the perfect job for someone that loves boats and museums and living in one of the most magical places on earth. You can read it all here without my smart aft comments. Good luck!