Yes, for the record we know you’re not out killing people and putting them into your freezer. Unless you really are, in which case we are just talking about your boat issue, not the human one. But, for the sake of having some fun today, it dawned on us that the same behavior can consume us in many ways. Like Classic Boating!
OK, follow me here. It’s been said that Serial killers start at a young age. Like killing small animals and such. We started also at a young age with a small boat, maybe even playing in the tub or toy. Then things escalate to a larger boat, or killing a neighbor. It’s really the same thing-ish!
Now, and here is when it gets more alike. You get tired of your simple boat, you need a more interesting one, or in other words, Kill two strangers. OK, still with me here, then you decide you want two classic boats. It’s the same sickness.
Now, you start trying to have the boats be in a theme. Like all pre war or just barrel backs, etc. Or like only killing middle aged men that write stories like this. YIKES! Any way, that’s your thing. Then you really go deep into it all and start writing daily clues to entice others into your sickness. And you start thinking that owning 6 boats is normal. OK, wait, this is starting to get mixed up? Hold on, I need to go look into my freezer.
Phew, OK, that’s not a Torso.
So are you a serial killer in a classic boating kind of way? Really? Take this Test! If you answer yes to 2 of these. Well, you already know the answer!
- Do you have more than 1 Classic Boat?
- Have you had more than 2 Classic Boats?
- Do you have “Souvenirs”/ “Trophies” around from your previous boats?
- Do you read WoodyBoater once a week?
- Do you belong to ACBS and the CCABC at the same time?
- Have you gone to more than one boat show in a year?
- Do you have a boat part in your house? Look around, it’s there.
- Do you look in peoples barns in the hope of finding a boat, not a vintage Porsche?
- Have you purchased a boat and after a day, wondered how did that boat wind up in my garage?
- Do you have boats in other peoples storage areas? Have you forgotten that you do? Think hard.
OK, these are pretty simple questions. Be honest. Like many things in life, the differences between us are thin. So next time you meet a serial killer, maybe offer him or her a ride in your boat. Think of all the lives you will save!