Thanks to Fellow Woody Boater Bob Kays….again, for sending us in this cool Century for sale ad up in Maine. Now, a Century for sale, is not the sort of thing we would normally talk about. After all its priced above $5K. So what caught our eye? The copy. this seller is going for it. Clearly knows, or thinks he knows his target. Old White Men. Wait? Dang, the ad reached us, this guy is a friek’n genus! Enjoy the fresh un client un focus grouped homogenized copy. Clearly a writer that has had to write too many boring Press releases, or ads!
1946 was a great year, wasn’t it? WWII just ended and doughnuts were 15 cents per dozen. America was riding high and trying to figure out what to do with all that post-war surplus. The folks at Century, apparently, thought it would be great to purchase a “boatload” of Higgins boat engines and throw ’em into their Resorters. Now, over 70 years later, this boat is STILL living the dream, beating back fresh water like Uncle Sam backhanded those Axis powers of yore. U-S-A! U-S-A!
Speaking of yesteryear, now is YOUR TIME to take the helm of this fine American lake craft and get all kinds of love-eyes from old, wealthy, white men who Googled “godfather II Lake House”. Seriously, make those grandpas weep with jealousy as you toot around with an ice cold brew in one hand, a pulsing throttle in the other, and old glory waving behind you on the stern. U-S-A! U-S-A!
Single and looking to mingle? Who needs pick up lines when you’ve got this beauty bringing in all kinds of Golden Girls off the shores of Lake Winnipesaukee? Hope you’ve got some more Cialis refills!
More of a staid patriarch type? Get away from the Grandkids and all their infernal rap music and take a sunset cruise to listen to the loons instead. Loons don’t care who Benny Goodman is either, but at least they have the decency to keep their goddamn mouths shut about it.
Recently bailed out by the federal government? Celebrate conspicuously with this bona fide American classic. Nothing says “I don’t give a shit because my money talks” more than newly varnished mahogany and the smell of diesel. U-S-A! U-S-A!
At the end of the day, nothing else matters except this boat is a gosh darn masterpiece and you’ve got the means to treat her right.
It’s time to make your final years mean something.
OK, I wonder if r the new Points you just put in made in China….GASP! The great news, is that this guy loves his boat, is passionate and no doubt will write you a poetic response to your lame ass “poor white man” low ball offer.
Dear Low Baller,
“$5,000 was a nice try, wasn’t it? We are in the age of teenagers making millions on the internet doing dumb things and you are a bona fide cheap ass” Have fun in your plastic new boat with your Instagram model, who has to take 500 photos to look good in one! Cough up another $15K and you too can look like a future old, wealthy white guy. “
There, something like that! I love this guy! Want to see the actual ad? Hope the Craigslist ad is still live HERE
If the listing is gone, here is the contact firstname.lastname@example.org
We did email the seller and he said” I inherited the boat last year from a relative and it is just too much for me with two young kids in the house. It is a beautiful boat but just too much for me. The engine was rebuilt, and glad to communicate other things about the boat, Rather than try and be serious I was hopeful that being tongue in cheek may find the right person with the means, interest, and sense of humor to get in touch.