Today’s topic is Old man sunglasses. Don’t. Just don’t. Apparently you would be caught dead in these, because you look like you are about to croak. Please! They are so bad, they make US ALL look bad. When you are out on your fun classic boat, everyone looks and says, wow what a cool….SCREETCH, look at that old geezer. They connect you and your sunglasses windshield thing you are wearing on your face ..wait….over your face….with cool classic boats. You kill the moment. By the way, we also would bet, you are wearing shorts, black socks and sensible shoes. That’s okay, its below the visible line.
Now imagine, babe one see’s you.. Lets say she is 60, and you 70, and you are out cruising, she is at the restaurant with her friends complaining about finding a “Man” and how long its been since.. well you get the idea. You drive up and she is thinking.. Mmmm, That’s the guy for me, I can see myself on that boat. Now about those sunglasses. if you are wearing a cool period set of Sunglasses, you complete the fantasy. And have those over the face things on.. SCREECH! Poof fantasy over. All she can imagine is changing your diaper!
Please. Stop. You look like you are 150 years old with those things, have given up on everything, and sit in your front yard and hell at the kids for having fun. They are the pontoon boat of sunglasses, only worse. If there is such a thing. At least on a pontoon boat there is the off chance that someone of the opposite sex might find you interesting. vs these which happen to be literally the opposite of sex. Take those dork magnets and toss them in the trash. And for the record, we don’t care that they cut all the sun. There are options out there. If you are reading this, you know about google. Try it. Oh, and Happy labor Day. Get out there. Enjoy it while you can, we have all sorts of Spaghetti about to crush us!
If you just have to have a set of these glasses, they are only 7 bucks. And available on Amazon, ebay, and every drug store on the planet. Even your Eye Dr will give you a pair to wear outside. They are useful, and make sense in an emergency, like you just had eye surgery after you got hit by one of Irma’s Spaghetti Noodles? The good news is that Fall is soon, and hopefully you will loose them with your car keys and wallet that you always loose! Click Here.