We all laughed 13 years ago at the idea of a virtual holiday party, and yet here we are. A Cliche. BUT WE DID IT FIRST. Anyway, pettiness of authorship aside, this years party is gonna be one to remember. And best yet, you don’t have to wear a mask to this party, no social distancing, and guaranteed to not give you COVID19. Nope, No chance in hell. You can fraternize in the copy room with the one woman that has the courage to show up.
This years menu is going to be the traditional frozen wieners, chicken on a stick and a new addition. Varnish Wine. We have been aging it for 13 years in Mahogany barrels. I will add, it goes down so smoothly. It’s to die for! The only issue, and well, it’s a small detail, you have to take a sip of paint thinner to cleanse your pallet. But it’s okay. The bleach you injected into yourself to cure Covid kinda overrides the paint thinners effect. You won’t feel a thing. So, ALL GOOD!
And to balance out the I’m offended issue, for all our socialist commie readers, the party is free. See! I can offend everyone. And so thats the theme of the Holiday party. Lets all just celebrate what makes us different, and yet united in our joy to the Holiday Season. Oh. I understand our friends from the great North West have scrumptious Murder Hornet Fritters they are bringing.. mmmmmmmm On a stick and I am in!