Gary Visser, you are the big winner and beat out Steve Bunda by one comment. The idea of the big Contest Contest is….. “A Contest for the best excuse given to spouse for yet another boat.” Asking for a friend… This is perfect. Dang! This contest is so multi dimensional. It’s like a public service to us all. , kills another day without sausage, and  a fun story and inspirers yet another contest from the contest of contests. Old on i need to reread that in which I just wrote… Ya, thats right, yesterday was a contest to create a contest. GARY GETS THE BOAT! And today we have ANOTHER CONTEST. I will announce that award tomorrow. HELL YA – 3 days checked off the list. Sans Sausage. BTW here are some TIPS from one with some experience at this..

See, dear, see, you need different sportsman for different sports events. Right. Dear

Naming the boats after her, is Jr league stuff.

What a day

It worked twice

Here are some other lame ass ones that have been tried with little success. 

What Boat? Ohhhh this old thing?

It was given to me.

It belongs to Jimmy, ya, he’s nuts with these boats.

I thought you wanted a boat?

I needed it for parts, it will be gone in a week/month/year/decade

I got this one for the kids. LAME..

It worked twice. Actually thought of having more kids for more boats. But then, PETS are a good move un used move BTW. Thats my little gift to the universe… Honey, I named it after SKIPPY, and we used her ashes as bedding compound. No? Just trying this up the old flagpole. Your call.

And of course this one was just used and genus if I must say so. 

I bought it back BECAUSE it was the kids. Mike drop on that one. I got the boat twice.. Wait, maybe I shouldn’t brag about this one.. Too soon?

Is this the the top of the hill, or my end? Its a fine line

SO, Do you have an excuse? Bring them on, its gonna be springtime soon and Woody needs another boat!

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55 Responses to “And The Winner Of The Contest, Contest, Contest Is….”
  1. Bob Kays

    Honey, Matt just got another boat, and he really needs more stories… so guess what I did.

  2. Chug-A-Lug

    Mom’s ol’ Chris-Craft is still sitting in the shed.Still on that newish trailer and has full canvass camper top.Time for another road trip,Matt..Coarse you’ll have to prove to Canada customs that your essential.Mom will turn 89 this year so you might score a good deal.

  3. Frank@Falmouth

    I have multiples (or similar models) of the same boat. I put the same name on them and they are stored at different locations. To the “un-informed” they think its the same boat they recently saw at my other house(s). Does require multiple locations and similar boat covers, but its worked like a charm so far… and its not a “hoard” its a collection!
    Ill usually say..
    “Dont you remember, thats the boat I was telling you the history,.. oh you dont?,,,” to which she’ll reply, “Thats right now I remember” just to avoid hearing the story again!

    But buying back Yip Yap? Thats gotta be a win win with everyone,, THATS an easy one…. Finding and buying one of your college day cars, might not be so… 🙂

    Still trying to locate the 25′ Smith Island Crab Scrape Deadrise that my dad gave to some guy when he sold a Cruis-Along to the Calvert Museum , with is still displayed inside their lobby.

  4. Steve Anderson from Michigan

    I have always dreamed of selling everything and living on a sail boat when I retire. I talked about it all the time. Somehow my wife decided that the more cool stuff I had the less likely I would be willing to sell it all. She hates the idea of living on a sail boat so much that she actively encourages me to buy more boats and cars. Weird.

    • Ronald

      I have friends that done this exact thing maybe 25 years ago, After a few years on a ’47 ft sailboat in the Bahamas the boat got damaged in a storm so they sold it and came back home to Kentucky and started the home thing again then sold it and bought another tug style to do the great loop that is in the planning stages soon.
      My go to phrase when purchasing another boat is ” Look what followed me home” It has worked for 18 years so far.

  5. Mike K

    But matts got 6 boats honey
    We want to be accepted in the group
    Don’t we honey
    His wife lets him
    You should see his sweet valentines cards

    Matts got 3 dogs honey….matts got a new truck

    • John Heiderich

      Can not give an excuse but did say, hey honey look at this boat on eBay, and she said you have to buy it. What a wife!

      • Kelly Wittenauer

        Wow, John, that is a cool boat! You should do a story on it, for Matt to run here.

  6. DavidK

    There’s got to be a name for that stretch of time between agreeing to buy another boat and taking delivery (sounds more sophisticated than “going to get it”). I’m talking about the period where you don’t have your story ready but you’re running through a few pitches in your mind while you are finding ways to be a little more pleasant and helpful around the house? Of course you’re going to pay for the boat but you’re also going to “pay” for buying the boat, and the boat is so cool it’s going to be worth it but there’s that middle stretch…….what do you call that? Asking for a friend.

  7. George Emmanuel

    Don’t ask, just do it! Our first CC was kept hidden from my wife. At our anniversary dinner one of my “good” friends spilled the beans and boy, it was a quiet evening. We could have cooked barbecue from the smoke coming from her head! But once the secret was out, things cooled down and the restoration began. She started pushing me to hurry up and finish it! When I finished it she asked what I was going to name it. The reply, “Hidden Secret” and it was a part of our family for a long, happy time.

  8. Alex

    Excuses? We ain’t got no excuses. We don’t need no excuses. I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ excuses!”

  9. Syd

    Oh that one. Don’t you remember. That has been buried in the back of the barn for years. Thought that I would get it out and start fixing it up

  10. John Rothert

    I am single….this is sausage to me???
    Hey, my Old Town Charles River Canoe just turned 100!
    Hangs in the ceiling in my shop/office…no one to bitch…
    girlfriend loves boats…maybe get a new significant other just so you can get all the boats you want??? What do I know????
    John in Va.

  11. warren

    “They all do something different” My wife even says that now when somebody asks why we have 11 boats.
    The second to last one I bought is an 11 1/2′ lapstrake sail/row/powerboat that comes apart in 2 sections for easier storage.
    I swear I told my wife when I went to look at it, but she didn’t pay attention to that.
    When I brought it home, she looked at me kinda weird and said she had a dream about 2 weeks before and asked me in the dream if I remembered to get the top(front) half??!!!

    • Alex

      So true. Even two of the same model can be entirely different experiences, based on how they are powered, their interior, their condition, and whether original or restored. I marvel at that each season. And it’s why I struggle when it comes to selling any.

  12. Kelly Wittenauer

    Barely have time, money & (especially) space for the toys we have. So not looking for excuses to buy more, but I am enjoying reading these 🙂

  13. First53Resorter

    What I think I’m hearing is “need versus want” in regard to boats and their purchase. Hold that thought, but isn’t this REALLY about boat STORAGE?? I too once faced this dilemma. Until (!!!) finding a warehouse. Problem solved. The bonus is water frontage, heh-heh. “Dear, won’t it be wonderful watching the sun set over the water and enjoying a glass of wine?” and “You’ll be able to not only store your kayak here, but launch it, too!” I am blessed 🙂

  14. Toby Hall

    The 2 AlumaCrafts that I own now are both steering wheel boats. I need a third one for all of my tiller steer outboards!
    Makes perfect sense.

  15. gary R. visser

    OMG I’m so thrilled to win this award and want to thank the academy, my agent and all the other nominees for their contributions. I’ll cherish this…box of wooden…sticks! Most of all I would like to acknowledge my brother Royce Humphreys, without his extraordinary example and courage and multiple Rivas, none of this would be possible. You love me, you really love me!

  16. Mark in Ohio (sometimes da U P)

    Look Honey, it has a Bathroom on it. I can’t sell the other ones. They are not worth anything.

  17. Briant

    “Hon, I am merely diversifying my own ass. Assets! I mean assets!”

  18. Nuf Sed

    The most recent purchase is named “Last One IV”.
    Dear wife said “I like it. Now it’s easier to keep track of your crazy addiction”.

  19. George

    They were taking it to the county landfill. They said I could have it if I hauled it off.

  20. Karl Hoffman

    The day I went to pick up the 1937 19 ft CC Custom I told my wife I was going after firewood. The boat truly could be firewood. I then hid the boat in a garage 60 miles from home. When I returned home with no fire wood in the back of my pickup I had some explaining to do.

  21. floyd r turbo

    “This one’s in much better condition and will be easier to restore.”

  22. floyd r turbo

    “But this one has much better wood and would be less costly to restore.”

  23. floyd r turbo

    “But this one’s fiberglass and won’t need expensive mahogany wood replacement.”

  24. floyd r turbo

    “But this fiberglass one is a much more desirable design and is in high demand. They resell for $30k.”

  25. floyd r turbo

    “I put a ridiculously low bid in on ebay and he took it, so I have to buy it to maintain my high ebay ranking,”

  26. floyd r turbo

    “He’s going to store it for me for free until I make all the payments.”

  27. floyd r turbo

    “Look, I don’t have that many more years to live and I’ve always wanted this boat.”

  28. floyd r turbo

    “I don’t have that many more years to live and this is the one boat I really have wanted.”

  29. floyd r turbo

    I’m pretty sure she might be on to me now. But, maybe I can get one more by her and a sympathy thing. Maybe, “My mother left me a little bit of money and she’d want me to get that boat, it was one she use to ride in.”

  30. Dick Dow

    I have nothing to say and no one to talk to anyway – I’ve been banished to the shop… 😉

  31. Anonymous

    But honey it’s this or a mistress. Which one would you rather me have?

    • Dick Dow

      I’ve always said I’m out in the shop with my mistress, rubbing her behind with 80 grit… 😉

    • Your Wife

      Careful there cupcake. It’s a two way street. You really think I joined the gym to work on my little tummy?

  32. Darthtrader

    Look, You are Italian, the car is Italian, your shoes are Italian, and now the boat is Italian. I’m just trying to make everything match; just like you told me. Besides, what fun it will be to make a parts run to the old country. That way we can save on the shipping costs.

    • Glen Glen

      I just told her how beautiful she will look riding in it this summer!

  33. steve bunda

    In the 90’s I was working out of my oversized garage at our home on Okauchee Lake Wi .
    One day my friend and I went down to Delavan and bought 2 Chris crafts. I brought mine back and stashed it in the garage , a 1937 22 foot Custom triple cockpit .
    Laurie came home from work and stopped in to see how things were going in the boat shop .. I had a ladder by the boat and a box of beer .. She got in , cracked open a beer and said , ” this is really a cool boat , is it a customer’s or ours” Boom !! Mission Accomplished!

  34. Mike U

    Don’t worry – it’s just another tax write-off. Buy it, blog about it, expense it.

  35. thomas d

    i had this one hid, wife caught me with it and says where did this one come from? all i could think of was damn if i know honey.

  36. Dennis Spillane

    I ALWAYS say”well, you know what I’m doing. I’m not out gambling, drinking, or chasing women. I never complain about shoes or purses”. Seems to work. I have 11 woodies now. Either that or she realizes I’ve been divorced before and I know how to do that.

  37. Murdock

    She let me buy a MARINA and mistakenly thought I wouldn’t need to have more boats because I could live vicariously through all the customer’s wooden boats. Silly girl, what were you thinking?
    It does make it easier when she happens to spy something new residing by the craneway though………”Who’s boat is that?”, “I dunno honey, someone dropped that off last night for us to take a look at it.”
    Damn. Good thing I have lots of new lines to use from all the wonderful Woodyboater feedback!
    Thing is though, the kids will call the auctioneer before I’m cold in the ground!