I am flabber gassed!

Are your a “regular” reader of WoodyBoater? If so, than you no doubt know of my passion for toilet seats. And today we have what I say.. as a toilet seat ofianato, is the finest Toilet Seat ever designed. This is far far from being a wooden platform for your gluteus maximus to perform beautiful music. It is a sculpture. A testimate to to the depths in which the artist can make anything beautiful out of crap!

One for each cheek?

Oh I could go on and on.. The runs of glorious metaphors are just flowing!

The hardware is amazing

YOU CAN PURCHASE THIS MASTERPIECE OF CRAP RIGHT HERE ON EBAY! 

So you see, one man’s toilet seat is another man’s work o fart.. Yes I can even make a typo joke here!

 

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21 Responses to “The Most Beautiful Toilet Seat Ever!”
  1. Rick

    I was wondering when we would circle back to toilet seats again. Though that is a pretty nice one. Maybe my wife would let me put it in the guest bathroom to impress visitors.

  2. John Bailey

    Keep this among us and don’t let anyone know this story! Promise?

    Growing up, I was fortunate to live along the south shore of Lake Michigan in the Indiana sand dunes. When I was in early grade school I was walking along the beach and discovered washed up on the shore what I was absolutely certain was a round porthole! It had a hinged wooden cover! What a find from the wreckage of some ship!

    The horrific look of my parents told me it might not have been a nautical treasure. They made me scrub and shower for an hour!

  3. Bilge Rat

    So I wonder who was the model for the carved recesses to conform to the human backside? Surely one size does not fit all and this model has no cushy “give” to accommodate out of specification butts.

  4. Mark

    It’s a miralax that anyone would want to part with that beautiful item.

  5. mahoganymadness

    I can hear the conversation now…Honey can you get a get a splinter out for me…Where is it?…In my left butt cheek ………Its all downhill from there when she finds out you bought this

  6. Troy in ANE

    The more things change the more they stay the same.

    At this rate it is going to be a crappy day.

  7. John Rothert

    from the outhouse wall:

    “here I sit brokenhearted
    Troy posted s–t
    so I’ve departed…..”

    pretty day in ole va…maybe Going Boating?

    john in va

  8. Tuobanur

    One thing is for sure, whoever built that seat knows his shit. 😀

  9. mike D

    It’s my birthday and look what I get to read. what a bummer

  10. Murdock

    Death, taxes and a hopeful morning ritual are part of our storied lives…….
    Whoever fashioned this had an eye for contour and fine lines; maybe even had a Troy girl for a model???
    With the split front, had to be a commercial seat as closed seats are residential.
    Don’t ask, I’m in the plumbing business too……….in our line of work, a flush still beats a full house.

  11. Jeffrey Martinson

    Looks like a good *user* toilet seat, but the brackets and screw heads are the wrong vintage and the finish appears to have the wrong ratio of turpentine, linseed and tung oil. Major point deductions!

  12. Mark in Ohio (sometimes da U P)

    This site has gone to $h!t. (just $h!ttin ya!)

  13. Briant

    It is too early for this shit. Ok ok I gotta ask…

    Why in the hell are commercial seats open and residential seats closed ?

    • Murdock

      From my code book and I quote:
      “The code is followed by most public authorities, many public toilets feature open front toilet seats (also called “split seats”). The purpose for this seat design is to prevent genitals contacting the seat. It also omits an area of the seat that could be contaminated with urine, and avoids contact for easier wiping.”
      In today’s “non-binary” world, I’m just not sure if this is still applicable? Appliable? Necessary? Insert your next thought here________. Who are we today? Uh oh. Squirrel? Look, bird!

  14. Jaxon

    I’m having an issue here😏If my human buys this I’ll learn to use it.🤞