Anyone Can Win An Oscar… But A Big Woody?
Tonight there will be a ton of gold statues handed out to weeping actresses standing in front of fake smiles all pretending to care about someone else’s success. Life can be so unfair. I thought you really loved me! Just like a fancy pants judged Antique & Classic Boat show. Well, not here at Woody Boater. No sir-ee-mam..man. Because this year. We have our very own trophy. That’s right – Introducing the Woody Boater “Big Woody” Only one will be handed out at the shows we attend. ONLY ONE! There is nothing you can prepare for or try and win. It’s a random award handed out to something or someone at the show or event that is memorable and helps the hobby move forward. Just think.. Tonight a pile of Oscars will be handed out to other Oscars who will drive home with their Oscar..in an Oscar?
And you my future Big Woody holder… wait, we need to work on how we say that… Anyway. You will be able to proudly be able to stand up in front of the crowd with your Big Woody.. wait, we need to work on that too.. Anyway. Folks will actually be happy for you since they never really wanted one in the first place. Look for us to hand you our Big Woody…. need to work on that to… Look for us to award this special trophy at the Lake Dora Show in less than 4 weeks.. Woohooo. You can come home from the show and your bride, she will be kinda glad to see you.. But just you wait til you…. OK we need to work on a better name here..
Ahhhh, hmmmmmm, yea, ok. Speachless. So getting OUR hands on YOUR Big Woody is a good thing? Hmmmmm. Gotta think about this. Maybe you can do like they did with the Oscar in Penn Station. Have it available for the general population to hold. This way we can see if we like it first.
Hmmmmm, I’m with annonymous Rick….. but you DID say we didn’t have to do anything to win it….. right?
You need the one word name. May I suggest the Xylem award. Woody is suggestive and is not something the first mate is going to think of as classy, worthy of display on the mantel. It will have to go back in the shed where it came from.