Dying To Be In A Wood Canoe? No Really, Dying, Like Cough Cough Grab Your Chest Dying!
Well, if you have always fantasized about spending the rest of your time on, in, below or above this earth, today you can rest..in peace. Cause there is a company that will make such a thing come true. Meet Phoenix Boatworks. And no they don’t make Phoenixes, and no, they are not even located in Phoenix. More like Texas. But the real thing is that you can be burred in one, or an open casket, or even an urn.
Just think when your children go to your funeral and see you laying there in a canoe.. ” Oh Dad, always liked his wood boats”
Maybe have some fun with the family and request you be also wearing a life jacket. Or have some paddles.. Just incase. Or have some fishing stuff on board, you will have plenty of worms to use…
Anyway, I will leave the rest of the tasteless death jokes to you! Here is the website. Yes they have a website, and all kidding aside, these are cool.. CLICK HERE.
For some reason the canoe matches my shape. Hopefully it will be a while before I need one.
Matt I bet you’re just dying to have one 😀
Don’t forget to bring an extra set of points.
Well, I’m a die hard wooden boater but that may be going a little too far For me cardboard box will do and the kids can spend the rest of the money on a vacation…That i, if I haven’t figured out how to spend it all before I go.
I could make a fiberglass mould for me but my luck I would out grow it by the time I need it,it would be a wide canoe,but float high ,actual problable sink,,hahah Bill
That opens up a whole new can of worms. Wood casket verses fiberglass or God forbid, aluminum! Not even going to think of bottom paint or varnish choices!
Dang! We needed that Viking casket for Larry!
Hey, whatever floats your boat!
Would that be a Crypt Craft????
OK, that right there is really funny. Well played!
Excellent! But now you need a font. We will need Matt’s input for that. Might sell more with a beautiful model demonstrating it.
We will let Matt have some fun with this one.
Crypt Craft!!!! HAHAHA!
Best comment I have read in a long time.
I think, technically, the thing is a submarine, since it is designed to be six feet under. You could accessorize with a periscope, and that strange pinging sound submarine sonars make.
Also, now you are flirting with burial at sea traditions. You might have to resort to putting the coffin on a flatbed truck, and driving by the burial plot, and have a number of sailors push it off the truck.
Wikipedia describes the US Naval procedure:
In preparation, the officer of the deck calls All hands bury the dead, and the ship is stopped (if possible). The ship’s flags are lowered to half mast. The ship’s crew, including a firing party, casket bearers and a bugler, are assembled on the deck. The crew stands at parade rest at the beginning of the ceremony. The coffin is covered with a flag, and is carried feet first on deck by the casket bearers. The casket is placed on a stand, with the feet overboard.
After the religious ceremony, the firing party is ordered “Firing party, present arms.” The casket bearers tilt the platform with the casket, so that the casket slides off the platform into the ocean. The flag which was draped over the casket is retained on board.
I know Matt can’t spell to save his life, but I fear he is probably somewhat dyslexic, because he seems to be advocating that, ” The Ship Always Goes Down With His Captain.”
Do you still have to pay the ferryman if you bring your own boat to outher side?
Would you have to get someone to dig you up every couple of years to apply a new coat of varnish?
At least UV would not be a problem.
Oh boy, even with a paddle, you’re up sh!t creek if you’re in one of these…..
My wife has threatened me w/ a true Viking sendoff to Valhalla, knocking a hole in the fuel tank of the sedan cruiser and touching it off. I think sometimes she might just do it b/4 I’m dead.
I’ll go for the simpler “bury me face down” with my butt sticking out of the ground so the whole world can kiss my a$$ and additionally, you have a place to park your bike when you visit.
Told my family that I want a Viking funeral with a funeral pyre and all…in one of my old Grumman aluminum john boats. That way they can just hose it out after the ceremony , clamp the Evinrude back on and go boatin’.
As a longtime Cruiser owner, I think I qualify for “Martyr” tier.
Given the choice of being burned to dust, encased in some cheaply stapled together boards, and put in the ground – after like maybe a minute’s deep consideration, I am going for the Paradise with 72 Virgins option.
I have subcontracted Troy in ANE to find the most paradisikal illustration for this. Should be shortcoming.