It’s That Time Of Year Again, But Please Be Careful!

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A Master piece of Valentines Classic Boatness now on eBay.

OK, the biggest holiday of the year is not Christmas, or your Birthday. No, not New years. Nope.. It’s in a week! That’s right, the header and top photo should have been a hint. Valentines Day! No we are not 10 years old and in grade school here. Think! Think ! Harder, Think forward, to that time in the months ahead. You are cruising the internet… Wait, no, not that sort of “Chris Hanson” sort of cruising.. You are cruising for boats. Or you are at a Marina and you find the boat. The one! The one you ALWAYS wanted.. Yes that one. Now, you look in the check book.. and its got cob webs in it, when you open it, bats fly out.. But you have just enough.. But your spouse wants a new TV, Sofa, carpeting… What ever.. It aint a boat that’s for sure, and that money will be gone forever if it’s plastered into wallpaper for the dinning room you never use anymore. So you make your play.. “Honey.. it’s the boat I have always wanted” my father had one .. it’s… POINTLESS.. Unless my friend you have been bombing the beaches ahead of time. Seed planting! And Valentines Day is the PERFECT DAY!  Once again Woody Boater is providing these two Valentines Images from last year. Just print them out and cut them up and make your own card.. or cruise eBay right now, Here are  some.. For the person that wants to be original…  here and here, And then this cool one, DANGER, its got another persons name on the back. This could all blow up in your face.. Be carefull..Link here..

Then write in it something like.. To my Valentine. Your my love boat, or  You float my boat.. or Your the 15th coat of varnish in my life.. no wait, not that one, to geeky.. Way to advanced.. A dead give away that you are making a play.. Stay clear of screw references, bung holes and other innuendos as well. God I hope I spelled that right… Any way.. Plant the seed now. Then a couples week later, maybe a nice gift. NO not a can of varnish.. Something nice and romantic.. A nice vacation to Florida in the spring.. Thats right.. around march… near the end… thats right.. slowly  now.. THEN POW! look honey a classic boat show in Tavaras. Who would have thought. Just like the Valentines day card I MADE FOR YOU WITHOUT ANY HELP! See… it’s all so easy… A simple act of kindness… and it was free, you didnt have to go to the CVS and buy some lame ass card with sparkles on it. I feel the love now.

This one is clean. No eBay item. Just grab and go..

This has worked before. Just trust the Woody Dock-ter....
Thesetwo above are vetted and safe.. Used last year in case you forgot.. This idea has all sorts of dangers.NEVER use the same one.. but if you focus can pay out.. Note. Below .. If you loved the one on top of this story.. And bought it on BANG! It was used.. And to another woman.. Looks like a teacher, so it was also used as a suck up device.. Seed planting for good grades. Christ.. doesn’t anyone have scruples!

The Dangers of re using original Valentines day cards. Please restore them before you re use them. You can use that as an angle. This is an advanced play.. "Look honey, I restored this old Boat cardfor you... If you are really advanced, you can put her name on the boat in photoshop.. Oh, ya..

7 replies
  1. matt
    matt says:

    A man has to do what a man has to do! I am out flanked on every choice I make. two kids three dogs a company. They all come first.. Its a never ending battle for mind share. The next boats .. yes more boats are being picked up in a couple weeks. Right after Valentines day.. Valentines day can be a two way street ya know.

  2. Mike M
    Mike M says:

    Matt, with all this “couples advice” it looks to me like you’re posturing for a talk show on the new Oprah network!!

    Do you think shaft/shaft log references should be avoided, too? I find all of your advice helpful. Thanks.

  3. Randy Rush-Captain Grumpy
    Randy Rush-Captain Grumpy says:

    Matt: Good stuff! Last Year I used the cards , I sold her on the Romantic Florida (boat Show) vacation, then dragged her on a road trip to fetch a project boat.

    Great minds think alike?

  4. matt
    matt says:

    You are the master! A road trip to pick up a boat is not for the jrs here. Please note that Randy is a professional… For gods sake do not try this with out out an escape plan. It could cost you a boat!

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