Stand By Your Outboard, By Tammy Winealot

Okay, ya I made a joke. But with love, and a certain type of rebound of love with the lil Racer. And for those of you, all 42 who came up with over 100 names. I do have some faves and a couple new ones inspired by your ideas. STAY TUNED. Anyway, today in respect of old outboards, we feature some, okay a lot, a cliche of sorts. People posing with outboards. And some general snakiness. In other words just another day here in Woodyboaterville. Enjoy your morning elixir of caffeine. Oh, and ya! Stay tuned on the cups. They should arrive soon.

Black Max and Silver Gal should have some Grey? kids? Lil Grey outboards running around

Well, looks like the Black max gene was stronger

These are Black maxes older sons, who eventually killed Max with there props. Hey you live your life as Macho man, and well. Mother nature in the Outboard jungle can be a little tough to watch. I think I saw Marlin Perkins do a show on this


I’ll just sit here and blow up the dock.

If I told the Boatress that our engine had Magnapower she would either be discussed or laugh at me. But I bet Black Max would show up at awkward moments. Why is he always here. Really, at Thanksgiving, on vacation? Why do you always have that smile on your face? I have Magnapoer for gods sake. STOP LAUGHING! And throwing up at the same time? I mean how can you even do that?

And I thought there were only three ways? Okay that one may have gone a tad far. Or takes too much of a journey to get. HEY, not all these comments are gold.

I gotta say, the art direction on this photo is fantastic. I can break it down. The all white imagery connects Sex, Power and boating all in one. AND the choice of the Blue Vette, is perfect. Its there, and not there. The wonderful placement of the helmet is perfect filling in what could be some awkward negative space. The big Flaw in this ad is the Logo of McCULOCH at the bottom. This is classic Corporate ego. NO ONE BUYS a Corporate engine. Why not use the Flying Scott logo? UGH. What a waste of good design. 


The Blue Smoke? I am confused, why? What? And it even has some smoke in the shot? No mention of a cleaner exhaust. WHY?  How did this get approved? Wait, this has Client thought of a clever line and forced the agency to use it.  The agency tried to fight back, but the marketing directors wife thought of it, and well. We will call him BOB, well, his wife was cheating on his with Black Max, who was a kid mowing the lawn. He was just known as Max, but he looked so good out mowing the lawn in his blue jean suit. And well. BOB’s wife.. It just gets darker here. All because BOB needed to get his cheat’n wife back on board. 

Hey! Babs, can you lift that arm up a little more. And are we implying that the Gal on the left is faster than the one on the right? That she has Gas? Why even have the Gals? Oh, ya.. Sorry. Maybe they made a deal with an underarm deodorant company?

Eve? Why Eve? Is this a biblical reference and Where is Adam? is she using Adams Johnson? And are we implying that Adam wasn’t dependable? That all she needs is his Johnson? So many things to unpack here

First off, that is one bad ass shirt there. Second, how is that engine running with shirt man standing on the fuel tank?

Go ahead! Give her an outboard for Christmas. Go right ahead. Black max wouldn’t. Just saying. Watch it Bob, that Lawn is looking rather over mowed these days.

14 replies
  1. Greg Lewandowski
    Greg Lewandowski says:

    That is some pretty intense outboard motor marketing. Not being much of an outboard guy, I never knew.

    BTW, I have a cap just like the guy in the Johnson 35 add. A friend gave it to me.

  2. John
    John says:

    Smoking a pipe in the rain – note the pipe is upside down! Yes, that is/was a real thing for pipe smokers – my grandfather used to do that. Merc guys are very determined and will not be denied high performance power, and a nicotine fix.

  3. Mark in Ohio (sometimes da U P)
    Mark in Ohio (sometimes da U P) says:

    Great advertising pictures . Myself, family, and friends are still running a lot of those outboards that are advertised here. Some of those Johnson adds still bring out my 6th grade humor. But we won’t go there today. I will say that I am glad that in 77 they were more Johnsons running than anything else in the world.

    • Dave Nau
      Dave Nau says:

      Indeed, outboards have always outsold inboards by a large margin. Today, it’s even more so with about 30 outboard boats sold for every inboard boat. And with 600HP four-stroke outboards, who needs an inboard anymore? Heck, even modern Chris-Crafts are sold with these huge outboards.

      However, in the antique and classic boat world, both outboards and inboards will be around for a very long time.

  4. Troy in FLA
    Troy in FLA says:

    It’s interesting that you come up with a story about outboards the same day that I am directed (by the AGLCA forum) to a story about Al Grover (not Al Gore) who was the first person to cross the Atlantic in an outboard powered boat.

    Yes the video is a half hour, but it is worth it.


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