The Ultimate Classic Boat For Your Nervous Family


Does it come with a trailer?

Have a nervous spouse about going out boating? And love classic boating. Well today is your lucky…or unlucky day. Because for a mear $4,500 before low balls you can own your very own LIFE BOAT! A real one! Not some rotten wood yard filler. But a real orange Beast! And you thought you had seen it all here on Woody Boater?

It needs a name. Miss?

Think of the shows? I mean you are always guaranteed BEST LIFE BOAT awards, and invited on every trip. No bitching about Reed and Prince screws, no 5200 bottom discussions, and EVERYONE would be happy to have you around.

Just sit back and relax, vomit to your right please

Although I will say, the ride inside doesnt look all that relaxing. It seats 69 people. God forbid you are the 70th! YIKES.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many Boats, she didn’t know what to do. She gave them some varnish without any dust; And showed them all around and make sure the chrome didnt rust.

YOU CAN FIND IT HERE ON FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE, by the way if you are not familiar with Facebook market place. Its the new Craigslist for deals and where people see stuff they have no idea what they are selling.

19 replies
  1. Floydrturbo
    Floydrturbo says:

    I don’t want to seem insensitive here but That would come in handy in south Florida to survive a hurricane

    • Gary Van Tassel
      Gary Van Tassel says:

      Unless you have had the pleasure,I have many times, you have no idea. Not only no windows but it is hot, smells like old sweat socks mixed with diesel fuel. Rolls like mad and ultimately one person lets go and starts the chain reaction
      Happy I am now retired.

  2. Old Salt
    Old Salt says:

    Get Tom Hanks to sign it and claim its the original from the movie Captain Phillips. It should work well just look at all the U22 that claim they are from the movie On Golden Pond.

  3. Troy in ANE
    Troy in ANE says:

    We passed one of these on our way up the A-ICW last spring. I don’t recall if it was in Georgia or one of the Carolina’s.

    • m-fine
      m-fine says:

      So you can wash your clothes after you vomit all over yourself and/or your neighbor vomits on you, all without leaving your seat.

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