My Afterlife – Revised.
Now that the entire family gathered this past week, of course my crazy burial wish of becoming a boat after I die came up at dinner. I suppose the kids all see me getting a bit older. I did amend my original death wish of being smashed into dust and missed into bilge paint and 5200 into a special boat that the kids can go for a ride on with me. The idea of being on a Mantel or in the ground horrifies me. I need to be moving. Now, I don’t want to be IN the water. I want to be ON the the water. But here is my amendment.
I love WECATCHEM. That 25 Sportsman is a true reflection and embodiment of me. A little to large, part runabout, part utility. Some custom stuff from the factory, and well loved by the people in its life. Now on her is a special compartment on the starbord side. Its a smaller storage area and would be a pefect place for a final resting place. Thats right. I want a custom built Philippine Mahogany box. Varnished on the INSIDE as well. No plastic baggy shoved in a drawer.
Now, this is where it gets dicey. The boatress says NO WAY! There is no way she is lugging around a dumb 25 sportsman. And will not spend money doing something so stupid. I reminded her thats the dumbness gene is whats kept us married all these years. So If I croak, I need you all to help my sons pull this off. They said they would keep the boat. They inherited the dumb gene! I know that one day they will love the boat. Not today, with busy lives all over the world. But one day. And on that day, that one day a year. I will be able to still go Woody Boating.
Let’s fast forward to the year 2152 when someone discovers an old barn find in an ancient ruins that some recall as being Reedville. In the compartment they find a mahogany box that is labeled “Herein rests the remains of Woody Boater”. The discovery draws a conclusion that this must have been one of those characters that our ancestors say existed in cyber space back in the early 21st century.
I suggest a Tupperware container – to lock-in your freshness.
You will most likely sell the boat within a few years and move on to the next one.
How about having your ashes zipped up in a bag with a vintage zipper pull and then flushed down a toilet with a mahogany seat?
Inform her that your next wife will honor your wishes.
I,m afraid that in the end, ol matt, will be digitized. A bunch of 0’s & 1’s caught between a blog and Facebook tweeting in a cloud with a GoPro on a perpetual hoving drone streaming vid to no one and every one. Peace.
It is all virtual! When I am gone WB will be gone.
On another thought WB why not drop that urn in the lake so you can continue watching woodies and all the others?
Ah yes, cremate me and stir my ashes into a pile of resin and spread me into the deck of a poor old classic glass boat yearning to be saved so I can float off into eternity. What a way to go!
For years I have said I just want a traditional Viking funeral. With some good background music like Wagner or Three Dog Night. It just breaks so many laws these days……
How about you stick those ashes in a varnished mahogany box and bury them in your garden and plant a mahogany tree on top. That way you’ll be growing mahogany for future boats no one has even seen yet.
I want to go in my 90’s after my last ride of the season. They can then put the ashes in a nice mahogany box, encased in concrete. Put me in the deepest part of the lake and I can watch everyone ride by. Of course I have no control over any of this, so I plan on enjoyed every day as best I can.
In keeping with our Nordic heritage, my kids are rooting for a Viking funeral to the accompaniment of Ride of the Valkyries….in one of my old Grumman aluminum canoes.
Once the pyre dies down, just hose it out, hit it with a little Scotchbrite and dump ‘er back in the lake.
An urn or any container can be discarded. with it’s contents. When it’s time for a new bottom, have your ashes troweled-in with the 5200. That way, you’ll ALWAYS be woody boating.
24 degrees. Lake Superior is quite calm. The kind of place to spend eternity.
Then I realized the spot was some crazy fishermen.
Matt, one of your comments warrants perhaps another story one of these days in and of itself. This was the comment about The Boatress not wanting the boat after you are gone and selling it.
this is an all too common of a phenomenon. It raises in my mind the larger question of the relation of the fairer sex to the hobby, and what, if anything, can be done to encourage women to have a different commitment to it? My experience is that most women are very supportive of their husband’s interest but that is often as far as it goes. Obviously men are not probably able to answer this question, but it would be helpful if some women would respond if you pose the question in an article .
Does no one out there want to be buried in wood, where one’s remains will become part of the soil and ultimately fertilize a tree that will be chopped down and made into a boat? Have you forgotten your Lion King? Doesn’t anyone want to be part of the circle of life?
Oh Alex, to be in the circle of life , one must become star dust. Rocket ship coffins!