The Sons Of Varnish Need You! What’s Your New Pirate Name?


Keep the culture fun!

Well, an interesting thing is happening in the community. Some ACBS members are being told to stay away from Woody Boater, to keep stories for the ACBS site, and guess what, that is just fueling more fun and anarchy. So they are adopting pirate names to post comments and stories on WoodyBoater. I ain’t talk’n BTW so have fun. So do you have a pirate name yet? This way you can go underground if need be and still show up at your meetings and vote over what type of trophy and hand bag to hand out at your show.

So? How does one pick a Pirate name? Of course you can just make one up, or google , “whats my pirate name” and there are a bunch of sites that will help. I am not linking to any of them, because there are so many and god only knows what they really are. Yup, its the internet after all. And then in the comment section, where it asks for NAME, use that. And let it rip. The Sons Of Varnish Rises again! Bacon for all ye! Shirts and Flags coming soon!

Stay tuned. We are working on a 10 year anniversary T shirt to be released this week!

We will also be releasing a special Speed Boat Outlaw shirt.

86 replies
  1. Greybeard
    Greybeard says:

    Sign me up for a Speed Boat Outlaw shirt! I think this discussion is just GREAT! Thanks Matt, for keeping this entertaining!!!


  2. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    Shiver me timbers, they’re made of wood and float. People shouldn’t get their rudders in a knot. I stand by my mates. Thanks for the distraction.

  3. Capt. Cranky
    Capt. Cranky says:

    I love a old fashioned up-rising….and can’t wait to wear my new shirt to the Clayton show this year….I keep my plywood princess in A-Bay anyway…which is home to only the finest pirates and varnish hounds…

    • Ron Y.
      Ron Y. says:

      Scott must be….’ Shivering’…more than just his Timbers up there in the Frigid Northeast …..

      Meanwhile, the Pirates of Orange County will be Boat Parading in Caribbean Shirts this weekend – 80 degrees today !!

  4. ScottK
    ScottK says:

    So how is ACBS wanting exclusive content for their website different than Woodyboater demanding exclusive content for this blog?

  5. Gambino (Sometimes Rick)
    Gambino (Sometimes Rick) says:

    Don’t need a pirate name my own is scary enough. Now everybody play nice in the sandbox and share your toys.

  6. Draper Road Irregular
    Draper Road Irregular says:

    By the time they get the motion passed they will forget why they wanted to do it in the first place.

  7. Pirates Lady
    Pirates Lady says:

    Great when a volunteer army goes after a volunteer Navy that’s locked loaded and polished with daily regimentation.
    Keep the flags flying and use the yard arm if necessary.

    • Rick
      Rick says:

      And we’re already firmly entrenched in their organization. So are we shooting at ourselves? This could get confusing.

  8. Jeff Funk
    Jeff Funk says:

    The claim that ACBS members are being encouraged to withhold stories and any other form of support from WB is utter nonsense and fake news. On the contrary, I have always heard (including now) from both ACBS members and the BOD that WB is an intergal part of this great boating communitey we all enjoy being a part of. No one group has a monopoly on lovers of all things classic boating (whether it be WB or the ACBS), and we need each other for the longevity of this great hobby. These two groups are not mutually exclusive, only take a differnt approach to hobby…both positive and necessary in my opinion. Serving on the ACBS BOD for more than ten years (and past president), most if not all Directors and ACBS members read WB on a regular basis and do indeed appreciate what WB has done for the hobby. I do not undersatnd this fabricated ‘rift’ between the two organizations. It only hurts the hobby and creates unnecessary friction…when we need each other now more than ever face the clear long term challenges facing the longetivy of our common interest. ACBS’ decision to change course on financail support was purly a business decision based on numbers and quantitative results…nothing more. Matt must consider the business end of WB just as the ACBS must consider theirs. It’s that simple. You make decisions accordingly. What’s wrong with that? There is NO animosity on the ACBS end, so let’s please stop this ‘he said-she said’ and get along for the benefit of all. To me we’re both on the same side…we love these old boats and the enjoyment they bring to our lives.

    • Joe Strictly Business
      Joe Strictly Business says:

      My membership renewal is up soon so if we are looking at all this as business then I guess I have to take that dollar amount and look at everything in my life and decided what is the best value.

      What BS. This is a hobby and not a black and white business. There is enough of that crap at work.

      • Paul H.
        Paul H. says:

        Joe – For you it is a hobby.

        WB is a commercial site, likely initialized through a spasmodic amalgam of a hobby and a perceived commercial opportunity by a very dedicated hobbyist who is also a vastly experienced and successful marketing guy. The hobby is much better for it.

        Here we are, 10 years later and if it was not a commercial site, Matt would not be charging for ad space, sponsorship or anything else. It has to cover it’s costs of course but it is not operated as a charity.

        The ACBS is a 501 c(3) not for profit corporation. That means that it, no less than WB and Matt Smith, has to run its’ operation in a sustainable way. The CCABC is the same (ask me how I know that – unwanted attention of the IRS several years ago), I suspect that other owners clubs, most museums and many local ACBS Chapters are also 501(c)3’s.

        So, you and others view it through the eyes of the individual hobbyist, not those of an entity that has to run a sustainable operation – whether it be commercial like WB or not-for-profit like many of the organizations suggested above. There is a clear distinction – you have no personal balance sheet or P & L associated with your personal involvement ion the hobby, so the hobby benchmark comparison is not really accurate.

        • m-fine
          m-fine says:

          501 c3 means not for profit, and should not be confused with the word “charity” which many/most are not including both WB and ACBS. Also not FOR profit does not mean there are no profits or that it is not run as a business. It mostly means there is another purpose and there are not shareholders. Some are quite profitable.

          ACBS and WoodyBoater are both businesses. They both have expenses that they need to cover with revenue from sponsors, members, and other contributions from those of us that make up the community. In return, they need to provide us with something to get us to come and then keep coming back. How they are registered with the IRS is itself of no real significance to most of us. What is important is that both are relationship businesses, and if you want to stay in business as a relationship business, nothing is strictly a business decision.

          • Paul H.
            Paul H. says:

            That may be partially true, but in the case of the ACBS there is a substantial charitable endowment fund. You and I correctly point out that any organization – for profit, not for profit or charitable has to operate its’ affairs in a sustainable manner. Break even or losses over long periods are not going to cut it.

            My main point is that the perspective of an individual hobbyist is totally different (and not fungible) with the perspectives or imperatives of a business or corporation operating within a hobby sphere. You are quite correct to assert that the actual legal structure or status with the IRS of an entity is not specifically relevant, but it does serve to illustrate and differentiate between the personal interests of a sole hobbyist like Joe and the organizations cited here.

  9. Phil Little
    Phil Little says:

    I’m a member of the Lyman Boat Owners Association (LBOA), not the ACBS, so I’ll post what I wish without concern. Keep up the great work Woody Boater, you have the proper attitude and spirit!!

    • Mark in Ohio (sometimes da UP)
      Mark in Ohio (sometimes da UP) says:

      Phil That is a beautiful boat ! My cousin had one just like it in the 60s. Had a lot of fun rides in it. It was fast! Love those Lymans.

  10. Rick
    Rick says:

    What we need is a really futile and stupid gesture to be done on somebodies part. And we’re just the guys to do it.

  11. m-fine
    m-fine says:

    FLAGS? Did someone say FLAGS!!!! I think I remember I requesting a SoV flag, or even just the files and copyright permission to make my own everyday for a year or two. It was a long time ago and this remembering stuff is hard but I am pretty sure I wanted one and still do! 4×6 or 3×5.

    As for ACBS, I have been involved in boating since birth and I have yet to find a reason I would want to join the national organization and pay them yearly dues. Daily web content won’t do it, there is WoodyBoater for that. Type specific information and discussion board? CCABC has me covered. Judged shows with not at all like it actually left the factory “factory original” trailer queens? I’d rather eat turkey bacon.

    I can support their decision to not fund a banner ad here, as that alone is not going to make me join. But, they should strive to keep a positive and cooperative relationship as WB get a lot of eye balls (even if half of them now will be covered with a patch) and a lot of mind share. More importantly though, they should focus their money and efforts on finding ways to be relevant and essential in the 21st century. How are they going to appeal to the next three or four generations who don’t view the perfect restoration as the ultimate holy grail the way the founding generation did in the late 20th century? How are they going to communicate that new value proposition to non-members and non-show attendees? If they develop a new message and it is posted here I will see it. On their website or blog? Not likely.

  12. Wilson
    Wilson says:

    Well, first I see in my morning paper that the hometown football coach “bolted” for a job at Texas A&M for a mere $45 million and now this….What’s next ? Will life ever be the same again ?

  13. Paul H.
    Paul H. says:

    Matt – As was asked earlier, but not answered – philosophically speaking, what is the difference in WB demanding exclusivity (mostly meaning no social prior media posts) for any content you wish to publish, and the ACBS or any other group asking for its’ members or supporters to provide content on their site? As far as I know, the ACBS has asked members to contribute content but not asked for exclusivity – a less exclusionary and controlling request than what you yourself demand.

    You asked your readers what they thought about exclusivity and they told you – they don’t care, but you demand it anyway. The reasoning was lost on most, and you took a pounding on that point from your readers, if I recall correctly.

    I agree with others that there is no issue here, and that fomenting conflict as “stories” such as this are wont to do is pointless – unless you want to sell shirts and get clicks, one supposes. Now, as a commercial site that would appear to be a laudable objective, its’ sad however that the creation of faux-conflict based content such as this is the chosen MO behind it.

    Is the new WB the “alt” (insert scale here) of the classic boat hobby, or simply devolving into tabloid-like content for a few clicks?

    • Capt. Tommy
      Capt. Tommy says:

      I tried to stay out so as to not give Matt his precious click so he can somewhat justify his $5,000 friendship fee BUT do I hear “drama queen” WoodyBoater is now common knowledge not just insightful. BTW send me ONLY $4,999 (savings of $1 (as marketing/advertising geniuses would put it)) and i’ll be your friend for a year and send you a T-Shirt too for ONLY $39.99. Sale ends soon, supplies won’t last! Genius.

    • Brian
      Brian says:

      Agreed. This all seems ridiculous and detracts from the good of the hobby. That’s always the risk when the story strays from the boats.

    • Paul H.
      Paul H. says:

      Yes, Verne! And contrived drama to boot. Real drama – fine, but come on. Most people don’t want this crap and hobby pursuits are supposed to be a diversion, an escape from the fecal maelstrom that envelops us these days, with 24 hour news cycles and insidiously polarizing rhetoric.

      We all have enough DC in our lives, whether we want it or not – and I am damned Canadian!

  14. Mark in Ohio (sometimes da UP)
    Mark in Ohio (sometimes da UP) says:

    You can tell its December. If it were July everyone would be enjoying their boats and not worried about all this. I have not come up with a pirate name yet. Some Rum this afternoon will help me decide. Does Rum age best in Mahogany, Oak, or Cedar Kegs. Lets set sail with Capt. Morgan.

  15. Erik the Red
    Erik the Red says:

    Don’t forget about us Viking marauders in our lapstrake longboats. We were strategically deciding weather to do business or sack way before Black Beard was born.

  16. Shannon Knight
    Shannon Knight says:

    A recent increase in demands at work has resulted in a reduction in my ability to keep up with Woody Boater. Reading back I see I have missed a number of opportunities to highlight the good CHARITABLE work that ACBS does through our Scholarship Endowment Fund and Scholarships – allowing us to maintain our 501(c)3 charitable organization status. ACBS supports five boat building schools in the US with $5,000 scholarships to each school, every year. I’ve personally met two students who received Scholarships from ACBS. Hearing in their own words how their lives were changed by the opportunity the ACBS Scholarship provided for them made a tremendous impact on me. Those students are graduating with the skills to restore YOUR boat! In this way ACBS is doing real work to perpetuate the “hobby” / “passion” / history of our beloved boats so that we can all continue to enjoy classic boating.

    ACBS and Woody Boater fill different but SYMBIOTIC spaces in the historic boat world. What good purpose does this “us vs. them” attitude serve other than selling T-shirts. Think about that.

    • m-fine
      m-fine says:

      Judging by my dressers, and my time behind the table in Tavares, there is no need for drama or conflict to sell WB T-shirts.

      As you say, this is a symbiotic relationship, or should be. This feuding is not helpful to anyone. Hopefully after airing out everyone’s feeling this week, everyone can step back and refocus on how best to move forward together and not in parallel or in conflict.

      If ACBS thinks they have the capability to replace WoodyBoater as a source of daily online content, HAHA, good luck! If Matt thinks he can replace the local manpower and organizational knowledge to put on shows across the continent, HAHA, good luck! I would urge everyone to focus on what they are good at, and filling UNSERVED needs, and avoid stupid turf battles. Especially those you can’t win.

  17. MikeM-Rrrrrrrrrr
    MikeM-Rrrrrrrrrr says:

    I feel compelled to reiterate a point that mFine made earlier…..Matt, for a guy who judges success by “eyeballs” haven’t you shot yourself in the foot by reducing them by half? You know we’re all wearing eyepatches and pirate costumes now….so dad.

  18. Dirty Rat Rivers
    Dirty Rat Rivers says:

    Couldn’t care about the current feud….but I would like to have one of those t shirts as in the header !

  19. Rick
    Rick says:

    We need to gather a crew, “borrow” the Constitution, sail it up to Clayton and fire a broadside No projectiles but lots of smoke and noise. No one messes with WoodyBoater but other Woodyboaters.


    • m-fine
      m-fine says:

      I think we need a WoodyBoater/ACBS cobranded Festivus Pole for this year’s airing of grievances.

      I will mark the date on my Bob Kays calendar and order yet another WB shirt to wear under my ugly sweater and Faribault scarf.

  20. Captain Morgan Turbo
    Captain Morgan Turbo says:

    Not sure why a few have decided to unload here giving the impression that there’s a “conspiracy” against ACBS and to the contrary, most believe they have an important function and we have the freedom to join or not. And just because some of the higher ups say there’s no conspiracy against WB doesn’t mean there’s not one down line in the rank and file. Because of the geographic nature of all the board members, they are not going to know who’s doing what – the communication function is not there for ACBS like it is here. There could be shinanigans going on they are not aware of. But each of the “big 3” have their strengths as Capt Bacon summarized above. Go with it. To coin a phrase from a deceased lawbreaker “Can’t we all just get along?” or not – doesn’t matter to me – I love a good keyboard battle. I spent years in an IT cubicle bullpen berating other colleagues to the point of their resignation or transfer. Let the strong survive, lol. Cartoon courtesy of Scott Adams for those of you living under a rock.

  21. Matt
    Matt says:

    HAHAHAHAHA! Okay that one made me belly laugh.. Hey its all fun and games until someone gets their eye poked out.

  22. m-fine
    m-fine says:

    “I spent years in an IT cubicle bullpen berating other colleagues to the point of their resignation or transfer.”

    Years? When I was in IT and someone got on my nerves, I just used admin privileges to download kiddie porn with their account. A quick call to the FBI about what I “found” and they were gone within a couple hours.

    • floyd r turbo
      floyd r turbo says:

      LOL, there was no internet in this bullpen era, we were mainframe monkeys, circa 1980 BA (before Al (Gore).

  23. Captain Spasmodic Amalgam
    Captain Spasmodic Amalgam says:

    Woody Boater needs to rid itself of the ACBS stink (by removing all the ACBS related banners and membership links) and move forward as an independent classic boating website.

    ACBS HQ is becoming more irrelevant every day, they just don’t want to admit it (in public) yet.

  24. Old Salt
    Old Salt says:

    Still Old Salt

    Aaaarrrrggg!!…and. I’m thinking of walking the plank to get some peace but I’m afraid my last thoughts before 1 walk off the edge of the plank will be about the stain and varnish job on the plank and will head into eternally woodyboater world not being satisfied with someone else’s finish work…..

  25. Jeff Rogers
    Jeff Rogers says:

    It’s about old boats and good friends – working in concert together toward making the vintage boat hobby thrive. Most importantly, creating a long-term sustainability of the hobby for generations to come.

    Nothing more. Nothing less.

    Both the ACBS and Woody Boater serve very important, integral, and symbiotic roles in the hobby. Those who don’t yet belong to the ACBS (and a chapter) or are not regular consumers of Woody Boater are seriously missing the boat (pun intended).

    They’re not identical organizations – nor should they be. By executing each of their missions to the best of their respective abilities, we all win. How doing that year-in and year-out may change (e.g., budgets), but that doesn’t (or at least shouldn’t) sever the relationship or lessen our mutual respect between the two invaluable organizations.

    So while spreading rumors or creating drama where none exists may “sell papers”, it does zero to improve and advance the hobby, nor increase the ranks of fellow (and future) vintage boaters.

    Last time I checked, that’s what we’re all here for…

  26. WoodyGal
    WoodyGal says:

    Since Larry (Captain Kidder) bought the good ship ARRRGH! me other name has been the Dunking Wench. Larry is now in Davey Jones locker, but ARRGH! will now be flyin’ the bloody red Stede Bonnet flag at all acbs events, which means she’ll take no prisoners! G’nite me fellow bilge rats…

  27. Kaptain Kangaroo
    Kaptain Kangaroo says:

    First time poster / long time follower AARRGG. Let me start with the simple question: How many boaters under 30 do you see at an ACBS show? How about under 40? How about under 50? But then the numbers start to grow after that half a century mark. My point is the ACBS is completely missing generations needed to perpetuate the organization. Sure the use of youngsters as judges is good but were are their parents? Little Johnny is not going out to purchase a 30 ft Hacker with his leftover lunch money or even unspent college drinking money. WB is the place where the “lost generations” from ACBS gathers and enjoys this great hobby. As said before this generation favors running and using their boats not simply collecting dust collectors at a stuffy awards banquet. The ACBS either needs to change demographic marketing direction or embrace WB for the segment of population it brings to the table. The relationship appears to be that of two 16 year old girls and one does not want the other at her party because she is prettier than her. Well the Matt the Bearded Charmer may not really be prettier but he certainly brings an important asset to the table in the form of Wooden Boat Enthusiasts looking to have fun. Thanks Matt and keep up the good work perpetuating our hobby. Sign me up for the first Woody Boater Cruise.

  28. Matt
    Matt says:

    What a great comment! But its not 16 year old girls, its more like bickering hair dressers. We sure love us some dumb ass drama. It’s gonna be a long winter..

  29. Greg Jones
    Greg Jones says:

    Kappa in Kangaroo has hit on why I don’t join ACBS for the largest part. My view of their group…perception that is….is if you have a ton of money to make varnish perfect you get an award. Those of us who use our boat and thusly bang them up get not so much as a notice at shows for having a well maintained user boat.

    Again…just my perception. And perceptions are reality for most people.

    I’m heading toward 50 and move in all kinds of different social circles of people, but find…or perceive the ACBS crowd to be stuffy and elitist and therefore I don’t get in the sandbox with them. It’s not a comfy bunch to hang with for me.

    If this is my perception…right or wrong…I’m sure others who are younger and more independent minded feel this way too. Who can relate to some of the overly restored boats out there. It just ain’t reality. It’s about winning awards.

    I know the ACBS does good things. It’s just not my scene.

    But truth is I’ve been getting further and further from the whole boat show scene because I’m the one doing most of the work so to speak. I drag my boat a hundred or more miles to pay a fee to sit in the sun next to the boat all day answering the same damned questions, eating boiled or grilled hot dogs (provided at most shows), not to mention the fuel to get there and possibly a hotel stay. And usually no water time the whole event.

    Nah! To hell with that. I’d rather go boating. LOL!

    Matt you do a great job! I’m sure ACBS does as well. But I fear groups like theirs are nearing the end of their life expectancy and usefulness. Everything does eventually.

    Same reason I got away from model railroad groups, ham radio groups, and other orginizations over the years. The politics enters in then the long downhill slide.

    Yup…I’d rather go boating.

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