Twas The Night Before Christmas, The Woody Boater Version!

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the boat house
Not a creature was stirring, except that mouse eating your wiring harness;
The sockets were hung by the tool box with care,
In hopes that Jim Staib soon would be there;

The bottom planks were nestled all snug in their 5200,
While visions of wake surfing danced in their silicon bronze screw heads;
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my skipper cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,

When out on the driveway there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature Sceeto, and eight tiny Franchini’s,

With a little-ish old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Jim Staib.
More rapid than Fed Ex his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

On, Resorter! on Custom! on, Delux and Riva!
To the top of the Michigan! to the top of it all!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, engine mount to the sky,
So up to the boat house-top the coursers they ran,
With the delivery truck full of fine wood boat parts, and St. Jim Staib too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the deck
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof in Crocs.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Jim Staib came with a bound.

He was dressed all in a Sons of Varnish stuff, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with oil and old varnish;
A bundle of parts he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; (Wait, no it wasn’t. It was a mess, cause Jim had been haling all this crap around folks boat houses and digging through old abandoned boats looking fort parts. Sorry.. But it is true. Now back to our song. )

The stump of a 3 inch copper pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the blue smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly. (That is true, I have seen this.)

” He was happy and plump ish, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head bolts he had just unloaded,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

29 replies
  1. Mike Green
    Mike Green says:

    Thank’s that was a good start to the morning, and thank you for all the good stories though out the years. Merry Christmas Matt and Texx and all who view this site. Jim, I told my kids that you would be here delivering presents tonight and they looked frightened. Merry Christmas!

  2. Dennis Mykols
    Dennis Mykols says:

    Merry Christmas, to all my Woody boater friends out there. I have meet so many great people this year, thru all the Classic events we attended, and hope to see all of you next year.

    Oh, by the way, Santa already visited our house, you see we SOLD OUR HACKER, “Old School” Friday!!! Now comes MY turn to go Christmas SHOPPIN…

    I want to thank two Santas; first I want to thank Bill John from the Vintage Race Boat Shop up in N.H. for listing my Hacker on his website at no charge. A true Gentleman of the sport. The buyer found my listing on Bill,s site, and then drove down to Carolina Classic Boats and Cars. After Greg Jackson worked his Magic , he bought it on the spot…

    I am sure I will shead a tear at Mt. Dora, when I meet the owner, and see ” Old School” once again…

    Mean while, excuse me , I got to go woodyboatin shopping!

    • Carl Garmhaus
      Carl Garmhaus says:

      Nice Christmas present, now let the fun begin. Happy Shopping. I see a big beamy Shepard in your future. Merry Christmas

    • Rick
      Rick says:

      My wife said I would love my present and now you’ve got me wondering. If I’m lucky maybe I can give you a ride in Old School in Fla. I wonder where she’s hiding her?

  3. John Rothert
    John Rothert says:

    Merry christmas to all from down in the bilge…still no spark but making new friends and not sweating the small stuff…

    Look forward to another good year of woodyboater wisdom.

    John in Va.

  4. Greg Lewandowski
    Greg Lewandowski says:

    Marianne and I want to wish Matt, Texx and all of our WoodyBoater friends and your families, a wonderful Christmas. I think Santa may be bringing me a Sons of Varnish hoodie, and I am really excited!


  5. WoodyGal
    WoodyGal says:

    Jim, I now have a whole new visual, you as Santa! I have always felt like it was Christmas when boxes of goodies from Fine Wood Boats arrived.
    Thanks to all of you for making woody boating so much fun! May the new year be filled with safe travel, great cruises and friends, both old & new.

  6. m-fine
    m-fine says:

    I found out today is Festivus. It appears we need to tell each member of the family how they disappointed us over the past year, and then we wrestle after dinner until someone pins the head of the household. There is an aluminum pole involved as well but I am not sure what you do with it. This sounds a bit dangerous. Perhaps I will pass.

    I did manage to get Christmas presents on my lunch hour so maybe it’s best to stick to just one holiday this week. Merry Christmas Eve to all in Woodyboaterville

  7. Michael Guthrie
    Michael Guthrie says:

    It’s a hot sunny Christmas day already over here. Our very best wishes to all at Woody Boater, and in the woody boating community around the world, for a great day and a fantastic year ahead. Cheers, Michael and Sandy.

  8. m-fine
    m-fine says:

    Presents for my wife, wrapped with my finest duct tape. Done before 10:00 PM, a record early finish I think.

Comments are closed.