You Can’t Hack Into A Classic Boat!

Oh ya

If you are in the awareness of global hacking and the impending doom of it all, then we as a small community of classic boaters can rest-ish easy. See, the beauty of our boats is they have ZERO, ZERO web or digital crap on them. When the power outages happen, you can escape by boat. No one can track you, no electrical digital web break down can effect you. No onboard computers to hack. Just you, a key, and some fuel… that you have been storing in your underground bunker. You are hording fuel? Right. 2,000 gallon tanks built into your back lawn under the flower garden? Not that I do. By the way if you come over to my house for BBQ you may want to wear a fire suite.. Just say’n.

Maybe the Chinese ignition parts are really little GPS driven modules that can read my thoughts. mmmmmm? Maybe Dave VanNess is really a Russian spy who has been secretly installing listening devices into our cylinder heads? Which explains the head gasket issues.. I KNEW IT!

Anyway, your classic analog boat may be your escape vehicle, or if the world does come to an end and you are living in your bunker, you can at least still go boating.


Wow? ya know, I wonder if I missed my pills last night? mmmm, maybe one of you stole them? mmmmm maybe just a boat ride would help? Maybe not! STRAWBERRY’S!

19 replies
    • Don Palmer
      Don Palmer says:

      I couldn’t resist adding a picture of my 57 CC (which I no longer own). I have been an analog man for many years!
      I like vacuum tubes and vinyl!

  1. Rick
    Rick says:

    While out cruising this past summer a gentleman much younger than I (many are) saw me plotting on a paper chart using parallel rulers and asked why I was doing this, he never had, when I had a working GPS. He will not make it far when his electronics die.

  2. Matt
    Matt says:

    Oh, I have Non Ethinol around here! Pure gold. You all can have it when the nuclier fallout from DC hits me. I will be easy to find. I will be the guy with three heads and 10 eyeballs out on my boat

  3. Mark in Ohio (sometimes da U P )
    Mark in Ohio (sometimes da U P ) says:

    Points, condenser, and coils. Hand pumped gas. Things you can do yourself, and repair yourself. Parts that you can keep on your boat. Maybe because I am old, BUT there is a lot to be said about Old School technology and its simplicity.

  4. m-fine
    m-fine says:

    The problem with escaping by boat is the last boat is going into storage tomorrow and won’t be back out until May. Can you please ask the hackers to delay any Armageddon scenarios until well after the Spring thaw?

  5. floyd r turbo
    floyd r turbo says:

    The older one gets the closer one comes to being called Ol’ Yellow Stain. Not hard to track then, just look for the closest restroom, porta pottie, or head as long as you haven’t misplaced the wardroom key. Or you can just go “over the side”, simplicity.

  6. Dennis Mykols
    Dennis Mykols says:

    GEE, I have not been on the site for a couple of days, and first thing I see is my old Hacker. God, I miss that ol’ girl…

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