I Had A Nightmare Last Night.


One sure sign you are a gear head is. You have nightmares that involve your boat, engine.. etc. No hot babes, no strange twisted trips. just engine problems. And an entire evening of trying to repair a distributer? What the hell? And I am writing this fast and early, because it woke me up and if I don’t get it down, its gone.

A dream?

NOW remember this is a dream, so it wonders.
I took a pal out for a boat ride during lunch at work before a meeting. We were riding along to a mall. The boat was running a tad strange so while my pal was in the fast food place picking up something I thought I will tweak the engine.

It’s right there.

I found the problem. The distributor cap was off. And I recall thinking, How in the hell did it even run?
So I put the cap back on and it wouldn’t fit, I noticed the rotor was sitting up, so I pulled it out, and some little round magnets plopped out and disappeared into the bilge. YES I KNOW! I TOLD YOU IT S A DREAM.
So you know when you pull on something and the spring in it flies out. Like that. So I recall thinking, ahhhh ship.

I can fix this easy

This is just getting worse. There I am in my boat in a parking lot, and my buddy is coming out with the food for everyone. And I have parts from the distributor flying out.
Okay, now I am pulling out pieces and trying to use my fat fingers to fix it. And one of the parts. A brass one. plops into the ground, which is now grass. I know that part is a critical part. And while I am at it, I get pissed and yank the distributor.


There I am sitting in the grass, putting a distributor together and somehow have double the parts. And I have lost track where they all go.


Okay, then I get it together and go to put it back in to make it back to work for the meeting, and now my boat is a car. A Corvair! And the distributor is in the speaker area behind the back seat, and I cant find where it goes in. I find a hole, and start tearing out all this original interior material to put the distributor.

Now as I am ripping the interior out, I have to pee. Like real bad, I dream I am peeing in the parking lot. But the erge is still there. And then it happened.


I woke up. And had to pee. The End. WTF!

23 replies
  1. Troy in ANE
    Troy in ANE says:

    OH Matt! What would Freud say?

    BTW: There does not seem to be much difference between the wandering of your dreams vs the wandering of your regular stories. Your brain is an interesting place to visit.

    Maybe you should call my mechanic? (It might help with your dreams also!)

  2. warren
    warren says:

    I have dreams (nightmares where the boat is tied to the dock but awash and sinking. The other ones are still work related even after 2 1/4 years of retirement

  3. Kelly Wittenauer
    Kelly Wittenauer says:

    Wow, what engine does that spaghetti distributor go on?

    Maybe it was the extra hour last night? Saw something yesterday about “getting an extra hour in 2020 being like getting a bonus track on a Yoko Ono album” 🙂

  4. Wudzgud
    Wudzgud says:

    The nightmare ending would be sitting in the boat and being pulled back home by a pontoon.

  5. John Rothert
    John Rothert says:

    that was a dream? If you have been a boat gearhead as long as I have…that is just a repeat of a real day. And remember you can excuse it by saying it only happened “once in a Blue Moon”.

    John in Va.

  6. Chug-A-Lug
    Chug-A-Lug says:

    Or pulling your boat and trailer with a crop duster airplane through a cornfield-prop chopped corn cobs flying left and right

  7. CenturyMike
    CenturyMike says:

    V12 cap? What boat was that for?
    Troy I need the number of your mechanic!

    Love the start… Chris Craft being towed… 🙂
    Ok I wouldn’t wish it on any woodie.

  8. briant
    briant says:

    Oooooh the Corvair would be scary but to have made it truly the horrors of all horrors it should have been any post 1972 Volvo.

  9. Miles Kapper
    Miles Kapper says:

    You have done a wonderful public service. Actually this might be your best post yet! FINALLY, I now have a baseline as a measurement for all my boat related bizarre dreams including the one where I went down to the dock for an early morning cruise and the Dalmation was waiting for me with her paws on the wheel.

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