“Hello My Name Is Troy, And I Have A Varnish Problem”
Come on. Everyone at once. “Hello Troy. Troy yesterday sent us this simple text.. I have laughed about all night, so the only thing left was to bring Troys secret problem out into the public as a way to help Troy with his “ISSUE” Or is it? You call.. For one, I am with Troy.
Not that any of us are enablers Troy.. But if you so desire, and it is your choice, We can deliver this to you in a brown paper bag, stash it in your secret place.. Put it in water bottles.. You have it under control Troy, you really do! You can stop Varnishing anytime you want.. Unless it needs another coat..
Oh, and..Troy.. if you are comfortable in your encrusted sticky skin, this is a good time for a shameless plug of our classic “Varnishers” t shirts. Just click here and the world will know you are not alone in your addiction.
One click.. Just one click and all your troubles will go away Troy.. SNNNNIIIFFFFFFFFFF.. Oh the smell of heaven..
Smells like…[sniff]…victory!
It’s not an addiction, it’s not an addiction, DARN I hear them coming again trying to preform an intervention, gotta hide my varnish stash and skidaddle out of here but I’ll be back latter to comment more. It’s not an addiction……………
This post by Troy means so much more since I met him at Tavares! That’s Troy!
John in Va.
There is no medication for this except more varnish,which is said to cause dain bramage.
NEW T-SHIRT! We need a day of t shirt quotes, “life is short boats are cool.” “Live life out of the no wake zone!”
“OLD BOATS EVEN SMELL BETTER”
I’ve always wondered why one of the big fragrance companies hasn’t tried to bottle the essence of what I think smells so intoxicating in old boats…
*BOAT HOUSE*
Eau de Cologne
for Him/for Her
Key ingredients:
Mahogany; Varnish; Yacht enamel; Fresh sawdust; Motor oil; Gasoline; Bilge water; Salt; Kapok; Suntan lotion; Naugahyde; Mildewed canvas; Fish blood; Wet towels; Boat exhaust; Wet dock planks; Seaweed…anything missing?
I’d buy it…wouldn’t you?
Mink poontang (in this part of Michigan).
So now that I am stewarding 59 feet of Mahogany I buy my VARNISH by the gallon.
Sometimes I feel sorry for you poor guys who still only buy it buy the quart. (Other days I envy you.)
And a fine steward you are Troy, with a gallon of the “good stuff”
I linked this story to my FB page.
This is the comment my 90+ year old aunt made.
“Ralph had the same effect when he was varnishing his first airplane–who needs mariquana when you have varnish?”
(Ralph is her husband and senior by a couple years.
Varnish does have an addictive quality but personally, I prefer the glorious aroma of old oil and rotten gas mixed with bilge funk. I’ve been known to just sit in a bilge until I hyper-ventilate.
Is the addiction the reason why why tend to put so many layers of varnish on our woodies?? I originally thought it was to get a deep gloss shine… Know I know my family might have to do an intervention on me.. Does anyone know if there is a ten step I mean ten coat program for my recovery?